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We were asked to write a blog about
how we felt before leaving on this mission trip. Here is what I am
expecting:
Honestly this is the blog that I
have looked forward to the least. I don’t think about the future much as
I know it’s in God’s hands. James 4: 13- 17 says,
“Now listen, you
who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year
there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will
happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little
while and then vanishes. Instead, you
ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who
knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”
I’ve never really cared for what will happen tomorrow, as it
does not concern what is currently happening.
In a way I live solely in the here and now. This does not mean, however, that I never
think about what will happen in the future.
To me the future has always been what’s much further down the road, but
with this trip that future is vastly approaching. The future for me has been, for a while, life
after college living somewhere in Peru as a missionary. This trip for me will be a determining factor
for where I will be going. I feel called
to unreached Indian tribes in the Amazon, and I expect that God will teach me
on this trip whether or not that is true.
I know God will use the trip as a confirmation for my calling.
I also know
that God will teach me through this foolishness. I know that the work we do on the trip is far
more important that the things I anticipate.
God will bring to us many new experiences, many, if not all, of which
will be extremely challenging in all aspects of our lives. God will appear in new and exciting ways, as
He always does. God will begin to
prepare us now, as He has been, for the work He will place before us on this
trip. He will begin to stir in the
hearts of the people He will be bringing us to.
He has already determined where and how it will all pan out, and He has
also determined who it is we will reach.
The trip in its entirety is already in God’s hands, as He has been
orchestrating it for a while now.
Despite all
this I have, for one of the first times in my life, begun to worry. I am worried as to how I will be able to
raise the funds for this trip. This is
not due to the economic struggle that our country is going through at this
time. I know God has placed the funds
where He wants them to be. I know that
everything will unfold according to His will.
But I also know the hearts of many to whom I wrote and sent support
letters to. I worry that their hearts
might become callous to God’s working in their lives, and that they will not be
able to help. So really the most prayer
I need is to be able to rest fully in God’s hands and His faithfulness. I need once again that childlike faith that
God will support me in all that He wants me to do.
