Growing up with a desire to become a doctor of some type since I can remember, becoming a missionary was obviously far from my mind. Going to church every Sunday, and sitting in the pew for an hour was all I thought I needed to do in order to satisfy God. Little did I know that having a true and transparent relationship with my Creator was more than attending church services. After realizing my need for a real relationship and need for God, I surrendered my all - or so I thought. Dealing with many struggles throughout the last few years of my life, and actually realizing for the first time that God is the only one who can cleanse and forgive us of our sins - I began to change the way I lived my life. I still had a desire to go into the medical field, and chose which college I would be attending based on that. Shortly after arriving on campus, and being stripped of the old friends and desires I had left four hours behind, God began to break and mold my heart. It was a feeling and experience I can't explain, and for the first time since I had surrendered my life to Christ, I felt like I had turned my entire life over to Him. While I continued to pray for God to show me the exact path, career wise, that I was suppose to pursue, I knew He had already shown me - very clearly. Sitting in Bible study, two weeks after beginning classes at Carson-Newman, it became clear to me that I was not meant to spend eight years in college, earning a degree which would later provide me with practically unlimited monies. Instead, I was to go into the world and share with others the greatest gift that can be given. My heart became broken for the lost and for the first time in a long time, I was scared. Scared of the future, where God would have me go, leaving behind my family and friends, not having a true income, and many others. Then I remembered the verses in Isaiah 6:9:

From that moment on, God made it apparent to me that He would take care of all of my worries. As long as I will obey His commandment, and go out into a lost world and share His love, then everything else will be taken care of. After having this realization, I knew that I had to get involved. There was no more waiting to take place, instead I needed to be taken out of my comfort zone and challenged to expand my faith and experience what life would be like if I was really willing to give my all for God. Knowing a friend who had taken a similiar trip with Adventures In Missions, last summer, he strongly encouraged me to apply for my first missions trip alone with AIM. I wanted to go to a spanish speaking country, since I have a heart for those of spanish culture and can also speak the language (decently). Once I saw they had a trip to Peru, I decided to apply and see what God had instore. After going through the paper appplication, and then the phone interview and speaking with some of the staff, I was positive that this was what I was meant to do. Never having flown before, it is somewhat scary but I know that this is going to be one of or the most life changing experiences I ever have. These lyrics best describe my prayer the past few months, and as I prepare and join with the others on my team to shine the Light into parts of the world where it has never been shown before...

 

I have tried to follow, I have tried to lead

I have failed at everything

I have been the culprit to my selfish needs, made everything but You my King

I couldn't be any less worthy

To spend one day much less forever with You

 

I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control

I lift my voice, I have no choice

My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, Your fame

I have not seen heaven, I haven't seen Your face

But I've seen Your Spirit move

And Jesus it's amazing the evidence of grace standing all around this room

I'm merely a product of mercy

The target and victim of Your perfect love

Let every breath proclaim glory to Your name

You can't be contained and I'll never be the same.

 

In Christ,

Ashley